Sociable people are great listeners. They listen closely to what is being said, and respond intelligently. They usually are well-spoken, read quite a bit, and have a vast knowledge base to pull conversational material from.
There are those who come up and start talking to us very personably. However, after about two minutes of chit-chat, they seem very flaky, insincere or superficial. They really don’t know what they’re talking about but are sincerely trying to be relatable. These are people who are friendly but not sociable.
Then there’s the person who seems to be able to carry on a conversation with everyone in the group. You can learn a lot from these people, but as soon as you try to ask them something personal, they tend to regurgitate historical facts and figures. They don’t show or share their feelings. They don’t know how to connect with someone on an intimate level. These people are sociable but not friendly.
Sometimes when we’re in a quandary, a distinction can help us significantly. For example, we may feel that we are very relatable and try to talk to others. Yet we find that people are not receptive to our initiative. We feel alone and isolated. One solution might be an attempt to isolate the problem. Is it because we are not friendly? Or is it because we are not sociable? As you know from the distinction made, the correction required in the behavior will be dependant on this aspect.
Do you know it is possible to have a variety of friends but no social life? We talk to them one-on-one and have heart-to-heart conversations, but rarely do we go out together and do new and interesting things.
Do you know it is possible to have a great social life and not too many friends? We may have lots of common activities with other people that we participate in. We may have similar interests and hobbies. But we don’t know how anyone’s really doing and nobody may know something important/significant as the death of a relative has recently occurred.
The good news is that if you’re fortunate in one and not the other, the transition isn’t very difficult. It’s just a distinction away. And, if you are unfortunate in both areas . . . Well, there’s hope for you too. Just keep reading and come back to this chapter later.
Let's love the world together...
Danish Ahmed, blind visionary