“It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you...handle it.”
Hey there everyone!!
Have you heard that phrase before? No matter how much success, achievement, or fulfillment we may get in life, one thing is for certain: shit happens. Everyone agrees, no matter how rich or famous, that life is full of surprises, and that the way we deal with it, determines our happiness.
But how do we deal with it? Is having a good attitude the most important thing? Throwing money at problems surely works for some people in some situations.
It’s pretty simple when we study it, actually. For example, pessimistic people see problems as being personal, pervasive, and permanent. Optimists see those same things as challenges that are external, isolated, and temporary. True or not, the optimists’ strategy yields better results.
But what’s even more fundamental than that? I’ve found four traits that keep me from being sucked into the drama of life. They help me deal with challenging people, make difficult conversations easy, and overcome life’s most annoying adversities.
There’s a paradox, though! Each one of these characteristics also deprives us from the awesome juice we crave in life. That’s why it’s such an art, to live a life we love, and to live it powerfully.
Duality of Being #1: Objective vs. PassionateHaving the ability to take ourselves out of the present moment can be very helpful. When I was debating in high-school, I understood that people would not be persuaded by my position, but rather by my birds-eye-view upon the resolution at hand.
At the same time, however, my excitement and drive is what would move judges to give me huge marks in the competitions. We need to see things as they really are, first, in order to get a solid foundation of our reality. And then, where do we get our energy? From seeing things the way they can be, ought to be, and maybe must be.
Duality of Being #2: Logical vs. EmotionalTechnology had been a refuge from social interactions for me, because everything made sense and was predictable--If a computer made a mistake, it was actually my fault (computers only do what we tell them to do). Deductive reasoning has produced so much in our industrial age that Star Trek even epitomized it in the character of Mr. Spock (the Vulcan), and later Lt. Commander Data in The Next Generation.
But do we want to evolve to the level of being androids? Are we going to suppress our feelings and be robots in order to have a more effective society? Emotions are part of being human, and denying them, even destructive emotions, takes away from the spirituality of our being.
Duality of Being #3: Unattached vs. PreferentialBuddhist philosophy says have no expectations, and you will never be disappointed. Letting go of how we want things to be, actually gives the most freedom to our being. It is a state of allowing whatever is to come, to come, and whatever will be will be.
Our whole life has been about consciously or unconsciously choosing what we like and what we don’t like. That is the nature of our being, too. If we didn’t have preference, and all of us like everything to the same degree, then life would be pretty boring for all of us. Our different preferences create this world of diversity.
Duality of Being #4: Unconditional vs. Co-creative“Unconditional love” is redundant in the eyes of some people. After all, we could lose judgment for all criminals, and totally understand that they did what they did because of the conditions of their environment. If I were the C.E.O. of a multi-national fortune 500 company, wouldn’t I be making all the same decisions that they are currently making?
Maybe. Making people wrong will never create a world that works for everyone. But if there were no conditions on anything, then we’d live in complete chaos. Our conditions need to be that of co-habitation on this our only planet. Thankfully, the awakening is happening to make co-creation a reality.
So next time you find yourself in a heated argument, remember to be objective, logical, and unattached with unconditional love for the other person. Then get passionate, emotional, and commit to an outcome that has both of you winning together.
Let’s love the world together...
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary
P.S. Related Article:
Will You Survive?