The Secret to New Year's Resolutions
Happy New Year!! I recently purchased Anthony Robbins’ new Get The Edge program and have discovered a distinction that will help us in our new year’s resolutions. That’s the distinction between achievement and fulfillment.
Is this an obvious distinction? Achievement is what we want to get, fulfillment is how we want to feel. Simple, right? Sometimes, when we don’t achieve what we want, we become frustrated, disappointed, and eventually give up. I’ve been guilty of this, just like anyone else. On the other side, some people set goals, they actually achieve them, and then they ask themselves “is that all that there is?” I know I have been guilty of this many times in my life.
What’s missing? The art of fulfillment. Remember, we are happy not when we get something that we wanted. We are happy when we become present to the possibility of getting something we want. We must learn to enjoy the process. The way to do this is to add fulfillment within our goals. Make sure that you not only strive to “get” something . . . Make sure you also strive to “feel” a certain way as you go for it.
How do we do this? For every resolution, ask yourself “How do I want to FEEL in the process of attaining this goal?” For example, if we want to lose weight, then we may want to feel healthy, sexy, and vibrant during the process. In other words, we don’t just stare at the scale at the end of a workout and feel frustrated. We ask ourselves, am I feeling healthier, am I feeling sexier, and am I feeling more vibrant? Answering these kinds of questions authentically will help us enjoy the process and be fulfilled as we strive for our goals.
In another example, if we want to get a promotion, then we may want to feel appreciated, valued, and recognized in the process. Now, is that in OUR hands, or is it up to our boss to demonstrate some kind of action or words that have us feel valued and appreciated? What if our boss never exhibits those kinds of actions or words? What then? Maybe we need to put in some additional structure when what it is we want to feel seems to be in the hands of someone else. The book, The Four Agreements, talks about not making assumptions. Don't wait for your boss to step up to the plate in your quest for a promotion, or to feel valued. Talk to him/her about your work, about your latest project. Ask for feedback. Make your boss a part of your process. If at first it doesn't feel right, don't stop. Find a way. Communication is the key to fulfillment.
Isn’t this simple? Is it too simple? We sometimes say “I knew that! That's simple, it's easy to do” and then we don't do it. That's because, no matter how easy something is, it's always EASIER NOT to do it.
I want you to achieve all your resolutions this year. More importantly, I want you to enjoy the process. Remember this distinction between achievement and fulfillment.
Let's love the world together...
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary
P.S. Ready to create your goals? Start with these five s.m.a.r.t. distinctions about goals.