Have you ever got one of those e-mails with catchy little words of wisdom like “you can buy sex, but you can’t buy love.” You probably received dozens of them over the years, I’m sure.
While these phrases may be well-intentioned and arguably a positive way of viewing our world, I feel this phrase is not accurate.
We want to feel good, but we also need to keep it real. Sure, we can’t pay someone and have them love us, of course. But, with more money comes more options, and with more options, comes more (possible) attraction. Money doesn’t guarantee getting you love (or health, or anything), but it does makes it much easier to get it. Here are some categorical examples:
1. Grooming & Hygiene
Like all these items, consciousness, practice, and discipline are prerequisites, sometimes more required than the finances. However, finances do make a big difference. I used to chew my nails all the time, until I understood that that didn’t look very attractive. Once I started getting my hands manicured every week, women went out of their way to tell me how much of a difference that makes for them.
Since I couldn’t see what other people were wearing, and thought it was inconsequential and therefore immaterial or materialistic, I just wore clothes for practical reasons. But then one day my super friend, Andrei, was coaching me on getting more new dates. We went shopping, and I was so glad that I had a sufficient budget! With the right consultant, anyone can look like a celebrity (just most people can’t afford that consultant).
Yes, there are gifts of affection, service, time, compliments, etc. But material gifts, or gifts of vacations, or gifts of utility, or gifts of debt reduction, or gifts of business investments, all cost big money. These may sound like extreme examples, but that is the marketplace we are in... Some people have the luxury to afford those kinds of gifts, and use it to their advantage shamelessly.
This one is the one most emotional for me, because I am unable to drive a vehicle. It may not sound like much, but it’s huge. I have not been able to be in some relationships with women because of it. In fact, a few even have honestly told me that that is a huge variable for them. It’s not just about mobility – it’s about security, status, and luxury.
Besides the advantage of exclusive fine dining experiences to court a potential mate, one could always learn to cook, right? Especially if they have the capital to get gourmet lessons, fresh high-quality ingredients, gold-plated utensils, and the best bottle of wine. Of course good conversation will be paramount, which may be about making sure the food is raw, organic, and/or vegan (all more costly).
This is the ultimate close for a courtship. Making a home is more important than buying a house, but a house does need amenities. Beyond the basics, more room allows for more creativity, and more recreational options provide a more diverse co-creative experience. All of this makes sense because if we’re going to have a family, the bigger the better.
7. Professional Services
I’m talking about coaching, dating, and match-making services, here. Some are free, and some are moderately priced. There are those that charge thousands of dollars, do a full credit search, and require someone to be gainfully employed. This acts as a great filter for what many women are looking for. And then there are even celebrity match-making services that go well into the six figures (I just saw a documentary).
I don’t let money stop me from searching for my soul mate and courting her with the elegance that could only be me. However, I strive to increase my income because I know it will increase the chances of finding my ideal life partner.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with women wanting these qualities in a partner. It’s primal, and I’m very similar, because I’m more attracted to younger women. Is there something wrong with that? In fact, women do tons of things to make themselves look younger and be more attractive to men (there's whole industries based on it). So why do we not also acknowledge becoming rich and successful as a basic lure for love as well?
More money does increase the chances of getting more love. For us to deny that is to be inauthentic and live in delusion. It may make us feel good about our poverty, but I rather be in love (with money), so I can enjoy everything life has to offer with a woman who also wants it (everything life has to offer). Isn't that the ultimate romance?
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Let’s love the world together...
[)anish /|hmed, blind visionary
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