Caring for someone asks of us to look after their well-being. Of course, we may care for our children, but we love them too. As a baby-sitter, we have the obligation of caring for the baby, but may not necessarily have any feelings of love. Not a very sophisticated distinction here.
However, it is important to realize that there are times when loving someone truly requires us not to care for them. In a sense, we do want their well being in our heart, but we must endure the sacrifice of letting them discover the hardships of life. For example, this is true in raising children. There comes a time when we must not spoil our children but let them make their own mistakes. Some things can only be learned through experience.
If we baby them, they will not learn. Therefore, we must learn to love without active caring. This is true in intimate relationships too. Haven’t we heard of those being accused of “mothering” their mate? That’s an example of going too far beyond in caring. Even in business, if we care too much about a particular client, we’ll find ourselves heading towards bankruptcy.
Being happily in love means caring enough for the other person that we let them grow in their way. Sure, we offer guidance, concern, and heart, but we leave space for them to explore their own possibilities. Love is about seeing beauty and letting it spring free, not controlling it.
Caring is subjective, for it is superimposing our values and dreams onto their life. Therefore, by trying to care for someone, you are in fact judging them for where they are and where you would like them to be. Mother Theresa said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
Let's love the world together...
Danish Ahmed, blind visionary